i’m a pretty tired and worn out girl tonight, but seeing as though it’s been five days since i last put something on this sad ignored place, i figured i had to do something about it.

so get this.  i learned something new today.  want to know what it is?

my poor brain is also sadly ignored (you try folding 200 bulletins and see how mush-like your brain feels) and so i find it critical to purposefully take in new facts and ideas on a regular basis.  you can join me in my intellectually stimulating lifestyle by going here.

and that is all you’re getting from me tonight.

goodnight noises everywhere.

a disposed of christmas tree anyone?

madrid’s appeal in the form of various colored barrels.

a cute-as-a-button kinda girl.

my summer project: Clean Up Boat.

uncertainty.  should they be a bit bigger?

new wanderings and places these feet have never been.

beauty in the drab.

the forgotten and lonely.

and the fun that’s found in a red nose (pardon my smudged lense).

i’m told on a regular basis to not take my family for granted.  i’m trying not to.  i’m determined to note all the outrageously spoiling aspects of where i come from and who i live with and not let those moments pass me by as i think, this is how it always is, right?

last night i fell asleep to the sound of my daddy strumming his guitar and singing praise to our God.  mighty is our God, mighty is our King… he ended a stressful and difficult day by worshiping and praying.  that’s who he is — that’s what i think of when i think of my dad.

for me that’s normal.  it’s not strange or weird or mind-boggling.  that’s how it’s always been.  but i never want to be blind to the preciousness of having a father who adores God above all else and seeks Him with all his being.

most people say they have the best father.  i think i really do.

i never thought i’d post anything about my personal fashion.  why?  because 1) i’ve never thought that i have a very unique style, 2) i don’t have a very good camera to take pictures (unless outdoors), and 3) i don’t actually have a third reason, but aren’t you always supposed to have three points?

i’m not sure how to title this.  how to update your 80s dresses?  or how to wear something that people will either love or hate and tell you just what they think?  or how bout’: how to make a dress that’s technically 5 sizes bigger than what you wear work for you?  okay.  never mind.  i never was very good at coming up with catchy titles.

but here it is:  what i did with an 80s dress that i found for free that really is 5 sizes bigger than i am.

how did i make it fit?  lucky for me, belting everything is quite current these days.

i added my pearls and gray shoes to the mix:

if you wear such things in public (or just at home — you should have seen the faces i received from family members) you’ll have people giving you faces like this that say, “yikes! i just had flashbacks to my younger scary years!”:

and i’m really not sure how to end this.  so… there you have it — my try at 80s gear in my everyday wear.

Dear Jesus,

I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to live in Iceland but then I saw this today and it’s rather changed my mind.  Can you create a spot like this on the northeast coast of the US for me, please?  I would be very grateful.

Love,

Louissa

whenever you need some fun in your life, just gather my little munchkins up and spend time with them.  if you’re having a hard time getting them to spend time with you, just offer them chocolate.  and if you promise chocolate, you’ll probably be able to get a kiss out of it.

and then they get chocolate.

and they love it.

and they make a mess.

oh!  you’re wondering if that’s the scarf i’ve been working on?  that’s so kind of you to have noticed!  yes, i just finished it last night and wore it today.

but back to the munchkins.  once the others hear about chocolate and untie mouissa’s cool computer that takes pictures, they will come and giggle and have so much fun sprawled across your bed.

and it’s so much happiness and so much fun.  you really should try it at some point.

it’s late.  i’m exhausted.  my backside is tired from sitting in my car all day.  i finished my first scarf and started another.  i should be asleep.  i should have been asleep an hour ago.

but

i just have to say that i do believe i found the etsy shop just for me.  how could you not want this dress?   how incredibly unique and wonderful is this?  and although i don’t really want to put myself in a box, she agrees that 80s is all the rage.

my birthday happens to be next month.  just sayin’ is all.

beauty for ashes.  ruins rebuilt.  strength for weakness.  He’s promised them.  and today, i remind Him of His words that are unfailing and unchanging.  i whisper to Him that i’m in a desperate need to see and experience them for myself.

“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me…
to grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion,
to give them an ornament of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit,
that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God],
the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.
And they shall rebuild the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former desolations and renew the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations.”

i gave him leftover french toast while i gulped down my coffee.  he asked why i was in a rush this morning.  i told him i had to go to work and his older brother would stay home with him today.  i quickly scribbled a list of chores and school for the day and told him he could have 30 minutes on the x-box this afternoon after all that was finished.  a few dishes were washed and then i ran out the door saying i’d be back in time to make dinner for the two boys of the family.

so here i am.  a run to the bank and post office have happened and i’m settled in my office chair.

7.5 more hours.  then home.  dinner.  and off again to meeting.

i really don’t know how working moms do it.

is it possible for me to have reached a new low in life?  if it is, i did tonight.

after being in an office for 8.5 hours straight i came home with arms full of boxes.  those boxes held work which was going to be taken care of tomorrow while i stay home with the ten year old boy.  i don’t know if i was too frightened to spend a whole day working from home and love it so much that i would never return to the office or what, but i just sat at my kitchen table for the last 2.5 hours tackling the majority of the project.

and it wasn’t actually because i thought i’d like spending tomorrow putzing through work from the comfort of my own home too much.  i found myself in this house tonight and i felt utterly lost.  i really could have done a whole bunch of other things — there’s a piano to play, movies to watch, novels to read — but none of it interested me.  so i worked.  i didn’t know what else to do.  i found addresses and sealed envelopes and was quite content to sit in absolute silence (unless i decided to tell a story to the blonde who was in and out of the room) all evening.  and somehow i liked it.

i’m a workaholic.  what a low.

i had to clip my yellow delight’s nails (talons if i’m being correct) this evening.  it’s a traumatic event for all involved.  gigi squawks and throws her legs about while being held, the jess girl who volunteers to keep her between her hands so gently is bitten a thousand times, and i try my best to clip here and there and not hurt her.  i hate it.  it’s like hearing your baby cry and cry and cry while driving for hours and you know you’ve got to keep driving but everything in you says to stop and just hold her.  okay, so maybe my owner-of-a-pet instincts aren’t quite as strong as a mother’s, but you get the idea.

tonight i tried clipping quickly and i clipped too much.  my bird thrashed even more violently and there was a tiny blot of blood at the end of a nail.  i felt terrible.

everyone in my family laughs at my mum because she talks to my bird, but i do it too.  i ask her how her day is every single time i come home (most of the humans in this house don’t even get that).  i’ve sat beside her and told her the strongest feelings in my heart, cried while telling her of my bitter disappointments, and assured her that someday i’ll be able to spend my days with her like everyone else.

tonight i’ve apologized profusely for hurting her.  what in the world has happened to me?

i’m an emotional pet owner. that is a super low.

this past friday i found myself spending more time at the church while rehearsing for a conference the next day.  the minute it was done i left, came home and changed into pajamas, crawled into bed, picked up my knitting, and sat there for an hour before falling asleep.

i’m like a grandma.  only i’m twenty-one. goodnessgracious.  the lows i’ve reached.

ah.  whatever.  i am what i am.  i guess i’ll go pick up my knitting, crawl into bed, and usher in my nighttime dreams while listening to melodies and putting more rows onto my scarf.

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currently listening — Black Star, Eliza Lumley