only i forgot to put the freshly ground beans into the filter. i made us a nice pot of hot water.

after quickly showering, dressing, and packing clothes for his lunch hour gym time, the husband went outside to start the car. our only car.

but he was greeted by a flat tire.

he busied himself changing the tire so he could get to work. i rushed around to attempt brew #2 of coffee. garbage was quickly brought out to the curb since heaven only knows when our garbage man will show up (sometimes it’s 8am and other times it’s 2pm) and i kept one eye on the clock the entire time, fully aware of the things that need to get done today.

i didn’t plan on drinking my morning cup ‘o joe while mincing garlic and onion (it just DOESN’T taste the same when cutting such potent foods) but that’s what i’m in the middle of doing. and that’s okay.

it’s only 8:30am. the day is bound to go more smoothly, right?

but you knew that. you knew that i spent half of my 18th and half of my 19th year in germany. and you know that it was a big adjustment for this home-loving-soul. if you’ve been keeping up with these words that long, then you know it was during that season that i learned what it is to bloom where you’re planted.

that year was spent knowing that at the end i would be going back. i fell asleep some nights, a photograph of my family held tightly to my chest — i was everything lonely and homesick but knew if i could stick it out, one day i would wake, get back on an airplane, and fly home.

i’m gone again. it’s been long enough for the novelty to wear off and for reality to sink in a bit. it’s been long enough to bring some tears into my world when my heart realizes that it misses familiarity. it’s been long enough to know that there’s no promise of a plane bringing me back to what i know. and it’s been long enough for me to understand that i’m not to simply bloom here but i’m to grow here. this is the same and so different all at the same time. that year spent away felt as though everything in me had been stretched across the sea and i was told to continue blooming. but now, i’ve not simply been stretched — i’ve been transplanted  — and now the work is to settle my roots into this new life and continue to grow.

with a mums who loves everything to do with flowerbeds i’ve watched the process of transplanting enough times to not expect a quick and simple procedure. some plants take time to settle themselves and start thriving in their new place. and it’s not always easy.

but knowing what to expect doesn’t change that it’s difficult.

because it just is sometimes.

i curled up by his side this last sunday night. he was checking his email or facebook or something on our laptop and i was content to find the space i’ve come to know so well, tucked in right beside him. i looked at him and marveled. although we haven’t known each other for a whole year, there’s no other place i find such comfort than when i’m with him. earlier he had kissed my tear soaked face. i felt his support as he held my hand and listened as i struggled to express what my heart was feeling. afterward he said, “let’s pray.”

this making a new life — it isn’t entirely pretty and there are moments when it doesn’t feel good at all. but i’m remembering that it takes time. and i’m not having to make it on my own. i have the best person by my side.

it’s the small things in life, but today, for the first time, i didn’t view this big green house as simply the place i moved to a few months ago — it honestly felt like home. and when you think about it, that’s not such a small thing. it’s more like a big thing.

it smells like home, feels like home, and is the sanctuary for my soul that home needs to be. and i’m so thankful it’s become that.

he’s helped make this place a home for me. and that’s rather big as well.

but how i like the change that comes when i humbly ask for His help to overcome.

via

what newlywed starts out in such a luxurious space? i’m particularly fond of my baking corner.

sprinkles & color.

the husband asked if i could make cupcakes for the youth meeting tonight. they’re nothing fancy but they’ll taste good and i had color to put on top! i do love color!

old.

i’ve read a few books lately set in the late 1800s/early 1900s. and i’ve been following the growing-in-popularity downton abbey. and sometimes i almost forget that i’m not part of those stories and i don’t live in that time period. my trips to retrieve our mail from this postal box do not help.

walks.

they aren’t daily but they’re often. i like my owls.

lipstick.

when i actually take the time to put a bit of mascara on — it’s there! just look at the top lashes. — i reward myself by letting lipstick accompany. yes, i’m that pathetic. in order for me to actually take the 20 seconds to darken my lashes i have to promise myself something that i love more.

texts.

i know, you’re jealous right now because the very best of the best picked me.

food.

and that is one large calzone. now we can slice it and run. because friday nights are those kind of nights.

tonight is a homemade macaroni and cheese sort of night. that was my requested birthday dinner for years. no, it’s not my birthday but i still want it.

my hands are dry and cracking in the worst way possible. it’s from the floor mopping, dish washing, bathroom cleaning life i lead. and i like it.

the husband gives me lots of kisses. and calls me “princess”. and holds my hand every minute when we’re in the car. and talks to me a lot. and makes sure that i’m talking. a lot. and is everything i could ever want for my best friend for life.

our mornings are earlier recently. they’re a full hour of making breakfast, bible reading, and bible memorizing. together.

my heart is everything happy. content. at peace. joy-filled.

and i guess i just wanted you to know that. know that i’m okay.

all this is everything sad.

i already knew this.

we’ve been here for 2.5 months and in that short amount of time it’s gone from a brand, spankin’ new looking place to a very occupied looking house. right after pushing “publish” on this i shall go downstairs to vacuum and mop my incredibly dirty floors.

we have a constant stream of people coming through our wooden front door and we like it like that. i’ve been quite convinced from the very start that this is the the perfect place for rest & relaxation and that was proven to be true when my daddy stayed in his pajamas for 24 hours straight while playing games and sipping tea. who knew the man could do such a thing?!

christmas was here in our green home. and now it’s gone. our first christmas tree together was an absolute fail.

we had little ones at our home this past weekend. they are happiness to my heart.

if anyone knows anything about our green home then you know that the husband bought it three years ago when it was a dilapidated mess. he has finished the majority of the house but there are little projects here and there that still keep us busy. with the continual flow of guests we decided that finishing our two extra bedrooms is priority. have i mentioned how much i love my windows? i also love the color of this bedroom.

the husband makes me exceedingly happy. yesterday he built the shelves for our walk-in closet!

and me? i’m here, spending my days in our green home. i’m enjoying looking at our backyard in the evening light…

and i’m getting used to making dinner for only two (too many leftovers). the husband is a good sport and lets me make all sorts of dishes he’s not accustomed to (curried chicken and lentil stew anyone?!)…

and of course, in the moments when i’m not trying to get our house to look spankin’ new again, i usually have a paint brush in my hand. polyurethaning the closet was this morning’s project.

now, to clean those floors i go.

(via)

on christmas day we said goodbye to our tabolt baby. everything seemed fine until suddenly it was all very, very wrong and i knew it was over.

i felt helpless. i felt such sadness. and i felt such peace.

even there, in the midst of frustration and disappointment, God can be found.

He’s faithful like that.

and my heart knows that all is right in my world.

how can it not be? the Best holds it all together.