yesterday morning, as we sat in our circle to start our week with prayer and planning, i told the three over me when my final day will be as an Office Girl working in this office. it became final and real to me as i spoke the words, looked at a calendar, and let how quickly it’s all ending start to sink into my every part.

i’ll have just passed the 4 year mark when i remove all my personal items, hand in my keys, and say goodbye to my space.

strange? yes. exciting? yes. but mostly very strange.

(pardon my leaning-more-towards-melancholy soul for a moment as i take a deep breath)

okay.  i’m good.

i’ve been walking to the office every morning and feel a bit like i’m reverting back to the first year of work.  steps were taken to get to that brick building even in snowy, cold days.  there’s really nothing like bundling up, anticipating the instant ache in your back when you first step out in a january morning.

BUT

this time it’s summery temperatures that welcome flowy skirts, sandals, and no need for a sweater even.  and i get to walk past my very favorite flower.  or did. it’s a bit past its prime at this present moment.

i’m currently trying to amp myself up for a 14 hour drive tomorrow. actually, it’s not the drive that i have to amp myself up for — it’s the 6:45am departure. wowzers.  somebody make sure that i don’t sleep through my alarm like i’m so prone to do?

thanks.

i threw my skinny jeans and the few trendiest tops i could find in my wardrobe into a bag with some toiletries and i’ll be off to play at a youth conference in michigan. totally normal, right? right.

there is the same question running through my head every single day. and that is this: how do people live their lives and plan a wedding? i’m ready to give up on one of them and i’m leaning towards my life.