i wake up to michael jackson’s thriller every single morning. judge if you must, but you can’t help but start moving when that greets your ears. his song turned on fifty minutes ago today. i laid in bed not sure where i was, what day it is, and if i had already been awake or if i was still in need of living this day. bizarre life-like dreams will do that to you. i hate them.
what i hate more is that i don’t remember the dream. whatever the dream — all i know now is that it’s made me feel like “rest” was not accomplished during the quiet dark hours. yes, that is frustration.
i started a pot of coffee. if you ever have me make coffee for you, please ask for a full pot. my full pots taste like golden goodness to the soul. anything else turns out like a faint resemblance of golden goodness to the soul or black gruel that wants to kill your soul. i’m not sure what my problem is.
i opted to not shampoo and condition my hair in the shower. this is mind blowing since i don’t feel fully awake, clean, or ready for my day unless that happens. but my tired body won the mind game by saying it didn’t have the energy for caring for the hair after the shower. i now feel dirty, groggy, and not quite sure i should head to work like this.
i made a delightful cake last night. i am most happy with an apron on in the kitchen. see?
i am an avid food blog reader and i can’t tell you the number of recipes bookmarked, links saved, starred entries, etc. that i have just waiting to be tried. last night i tried a cake recipe. it’s light and not too sweet and has a blackberry sauce poured over it so i deemed it good enough for a breakfast bite with my coffee. i am the epitome of health.
and then i read one simple verse in a translation i don’t read often. and i’m struck to the core. i thought i’d pass it on this morning. don’t revel in just an incredible performance of doing the right thing like i so often find myself. performance all by itself is empty. and not pleasing to Him.
“Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.” – Psalm 51:17 The Message
i shall now go to my little blue office to keep her company for the day.