i’m sitting in bed and noticed that my left big toe is asleep.  odd, right?  it doesn’t really worry me but looking for some entertainment, i google.  apparently there are many others who suffer from the left big toe asleep disorder and most are urged to go see their doctor.

i just went to my doctor this past tuesday.  i hadn’t seen him in almost four years and they made such a fuss about it i assumed i must have unknowingly committed some crime.  they went through paperwork and weren’t very polite when they realized that they had to actually photocopy the insurance policy from my father’s folder and put it in mine.  then they brought me to a crowded small closet of a space where i was weighed, my blood pressure was taken, and they took my temperature.

did i mention that i drove forty minutes to get to my doctor’s office?  first lesson: find a doctor that lives closer.

anyway.  i answered all the questions the nurse that’s been there since i was a babe asked and was ushered into an overly warm room complete with poster after poster of all the awful things that will happen to you if don’t do _____ & _____ & possibly _____.  the exam table/bed/whatever they call it was covered with dr. seuss paper.  as i plopped down i felt twelve all over again.  only my mumsie wasn’t in the room for my support this time.

then the wait began.  so, we have a forty minute drive.  five minute discussion on how they could get my insurance policy by simply photocopying the one from my father’s folder (which is only a few folders down from mine and didn’t seem like that big of a problem to me).  five minutes being interrogated by the nurse.  and then i waited for quite some time in a stuffy room full of scary could-happen posters while sitting on crinkly seuss paper that made the biggest racket if i moved an inch.

i waited.  and i waited.  and i waited.

finally the man in the white coat bounded in the room.  that’s right, mr. adams doesn’t do anything other than bound into a room saying, “well, well, well, what do we have here?!”  he sat down, glanced at my folder full of the nurse’s notes, spent two minutes talking to me, looked at a bump on my finger and a strange rough patch on my foot and declared me to be paranoid.  i was told to stop applying so much pressure at the base of my left pointer finger and put inserts into my shoes.  i finally was paranoid enough to go see a doctor about something and that’s what i was told?

thanks for that helpful prescription.  it was totally worth all that time.

he left, i put my coat on, and after only a few minutes in the presence of the physician, i climbed back into my car and drove the forty minutes to home.

my toe is still asleep but no thank you to going to a doctor.  i’ve had enough of the doctors office to last me another four years.