i listen to this song on repeat.  over and over and over and over again.

i guess i didn’t really need to spell that out.  the word ‘repeat’ implies that it’s played multiple times.

my nails are painted and they weren’t painted by me.  i have the keys to a car that i didn’t pay a thing for.  i have a new dress hanging in my closet because i just needed something for easter.  i say that i’m totally uninspired to choreograph a song and i’m able to recruit help with a simple (and perhaps a tad bit whiny) request.

i am a rather spoiled girl.  some have told me that i’m the most spoiled in the family.  i’m not sure that i’m the most spoiled, but it is rather ironic that the middle child (yes, i’m smack-dab in the middle) has received and continues to receive so much attention.  as middle child aren’t i supposed to be the most ignored?

spoiled or not, i’m thankful that i wasn’t ever an ignored child (there are none in my family) and i’m thankful that i’ve been so blessed (my word for spoiled).

amidst chaos we’re trying to keep a grip on what today is, what yesterday was, and what tomorrow reminds us of.  it’s been a busy day here at the sinclair house, full of people prone to accidents, shaky legs from said accidents, and watching every step we take and where our hands might be.

in the middle of a first auto accident (that would be my fault), antique chests full of antiques being tipped (not my fault), way too much yeast being put in the cheesebraid (that would be my fault again), and fingers being cut (not my fingers and not my fault) i’m trying to remember the importance.

why is it that we wanted to clean the house in the first place which led to my plowing into my brother-in-law’s car which caused his car to run into their new fence and break it?  why would we want to rearrange our whole house to accomodate 37 people for lunch tomorrow which caused the moving of the antique chest which caused it to tip and break a few favorites?  and why was i the one who volunteered to make our annual easter breakfast food when i obviously shouldn’t have (can we say you shouldn’t do anything after putting a car into drive instead of reverse?) been doing using my hands and mind at all today?

i feel a bit more like i should just go to bed and hope to never wake up again.  i don’t feel very much in a rejoicing mood.  i don’t feel like i know exactly why we’re in the midst of all this hub-bub and causing so many problems.

*sigh*

time to regain my composure and try to get a fresh understanding of why we do this — the importance of tomorrow.  someone, please help me start rejoicing and not just dwelling on my miserable day so far?

i’m trying.  i really am.  maybe by tomorrow morning i’ll be ready.

[song] Keith Urban’s “Shine”.

i can’t get away from the very first line — Winter’s weighing on your shoulders, It’s hanging around a little too long.  it’s sad and altogether too true.  i didn’t want to wear my wintercoat tonight.  but i did.  i didn’t want to get snow on my shoes this morning.  but i did.  and i didn’t want to freeze this sunday as i pull out a rather summery outfit (because that’s what Easter is all about).  but i will.

[thought]sisters.

i drove home tonight and thought of my sisters.  the easy conversations that come with the younger ones.  the frequent random phone calls and text from a few older and one younger.  emails passed around asking for advice, a group of women who i’m real with, close to, and loved by.  and tonight i realized that i really am — i really, really am closer to all my sisters right now than i’ve ever been.  and i’m loving it.

[verse]ephesians 4.31&32.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

[favorite]my bedroom.

it’s turned into the place to be in the house.  there were three of us that slept in the double bed last night.  there was a mom who was lounging on my bed, books spread out, and a laptop in use when i came home from work.  a few minutes later a sister who belongs upstairs took her place, enjoying the comfy bed and laptop.  school books and shoes from people who have rooms elsewhere occupy space and i’m okay with that.

[thinking]lots.

there’s lots that occupy this small brain.  ridding my life of sin, beds that are comfy, how to best involve new people to the church, sunshine and warmth, birthdays and babies and presents, beds that are comfy, a boy in new hampshire, sunshne and warmth, how to live out community and fellowship, beds that are comfy, summer vacations, and more sunshine and warmth.

i obviously have two main thoughts this very minute — comfy beds and sunshine and warmth.

you?

i grew up watching Anne of Green Gables.

i love Anne of Green Gables.

i cry every single time i watch it.

i love her.  i love matthew and marilla and how good they are.  i love how much gilbert adores her.

i’m not sure there’s a much better way to spend a lazy sunday afternoon.

you should try it.

vacation on Long Island 2006.

vacation on Long Island 2008

(i missed Long Island 2007 due to the fact that i had my own Germany 2007)

and looking forward to the possibility of Long Island 2009.  a lot.