i felt a bit like Kathleen Kelly today. you know the part — she’s in her apartment preparing some sort of goodness to eat in a black mock turtleneck top and a dark green jumper and she turns to Frank and asks, “what exactly is it that i do?”
i asked the same question. only i was in my candycane striped pajama pants and my “Right Left” sweatshirt and i had plopped myself beside my mumsie in her bed and started to question where i am, what i’m doing, my lack of plans for the future.
really all i was wondering was, “am i making my life count?”
and the question that i needed to hear asked back was, “count for who?” count in the world’s eyes — be the scholar it tells me to be, make the digits it says i must for a happy life, get the car, the house, the dog, the two kids, and the white picket fence — or count for eternity?
i’m no Einstein — in fact, i practically failed through my pathetic high school career of mathematics (although i hear he didn’t do much hotter), but i’m starting to figure out my want of approval from man (really, sometimes i feel like it’s more than a want — it’s a need) and how quickly i turn from my gaze being on what He’s called me to. the world is selling me dreams and ideals of what a successful life looks like and i must confess that i’m a quick buyer. i forget to look at what He says and to decide to do that instead.
and where are my desires? where are my longings being placed? i have dreams — oh, i might say that i don’t because i think them rather pathetically small and won’t want to admit to them, but i do dream and where do my dreams lie? in receiving praise, admiration, respect here by man or pursuing Kingdom goals — even if that means that not everyone will understand?
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6)
yeah. i feel a bit like Kathleen Kelly sometimes too….only not that part…the other part… .=)
You count bigtime — you’ve heard Daddy say how totally blessed he is to have the help you girls lend. It has made his work at church wonderfully simpler! That is big kingdom business in my book, his book, and most of all, His book. Don’t forget that, my dear!
A new tool in the box every now and then makes any builder happy, so let’s get something shiny and new. That’s okay, too! It can be downright inspiring… so dream away, and let’s figure out how to do it!
And BTW — what “other part…”?
Louissa, Your blog makes so much sense for some one who is young and looking ahead…but from someone who is much,much…..older and looking behind at some of my life,I wish I would have known Christ at a younger age like you. What an advantage!! To be able to go to the lord with all your dreams and desires and to know he will direct your path,is so awesome.And to have a father and mother who cares about you the way yours do is also awesome!!! The other day i was looking at all the work we had done around our home almost thirty years ago,and now is falling apart because of ageing,cracks in the sidewalks and driveway. A roof that leaked over the winter, and I could go on and on; not to mention my body has also been rebelling against this thing called ageing!! I said all that to say this,the very scripture you quoted,the Lord brought to my mind too. I thank God I can store up my treasures in heaven and know they are safe with Him. May God crown all your efforts with success Louissa!!!
Louissa,
You are truly a blessing to me. I can always count on your bright face and your cheerful smile, hey and we can’t forget your laugh.Your ability and willingness to do whatever, wherever and all the rest is quite significant in the whole scheme of things. I have been going through a season in feeling like I just don’t seem to make a difference no matter where I am or what I am doing, it is a really bad feeling. Let me encourage you, continue in what you are doing it is so important.
Love
Connie
Louissa,
I really appreciate what you wrote here.
So often I find that I’m also looking for approval from man, instead of God. Man’s opinion doesn’t matter in eternity though. It’s a daily struggle to only care about what God thinks, and completely contrary to what the world says.
Thank you for writing.