louissa sinclair

sometimes i feel like a normal person.

after a day spent away in a nearby city, three of us drove to the grocery store and bought meat, potatoes, and a pineapple for me.  the boys were in charge of grilling the purchased meat and the girls made potatoes, filled a pitcher with water, and set the table in the borrowed kitchen.  we sat there for over an hour talking, laughing, and telling stories just like i used to do at home.  it felt good.

i took a walk with a friend today and it reminded me of all the walks i’ve taken with my lovely sisters.  we talked of the upcoming fall, leaving bodenseehof, and not really knowing where we’re going.  she asked what i was thinking concerning decisions i need to be making and as i walked i thought aloud and she listened.  i realized i didn’t really talk about what the options were, but more what i feel like i’m learning or should be learning through this.  but it was lovely.

i’m having issues with my knees.  whenever i do anything at all physically active, for a few days afterwards my knees bother me.  someone said it’s because i was running with my junk shoes from Kazakhstan that cost a few pennies.  tonight i started doing something i used to do on a regular basis: browse every store online.  i went here and here and here and finally here where i actually saw what i was looking for.  i felt like a girl again.

saw a inbox that’s full and wrote one in reply.

watched apple crisp be made that’s now been eaten.

glanced at a German workbook that went untouched.

put a check next to the box for “exercise”.

listened to frank sinatra.

sang and did actions to “Peace Like A River” for the billionth time this summer.

played games that louissa doesn’t play like billiards, kicker, tisch tennis.

hummed new favorite song:  “Please Man” by Big and Rich and Wyclef Jean — what more could you want?

used the word “lift” instead of “elevator” again.

comforted by words to a childrens song.  Jesus love me! He will stay, Close beside me all the way…

i took a walk today.  the sky was still dark from the storm earlier today and there were branches and leaves along the narrow country road i walked on.  i’ve walked this road many times;  i know every large tree, every apple orchard i’ll pass, and every strange looking shack that might be beside the road.

i’m not very disciplined.  i usually walk when i need time by myself, when i know that i need to spend some time talking to Jesus.  these walks might start out well — the minute the houses are behind me i start sorting through everything that’s in my head and bringing things before the Lord, but they don’t usually end the same way.  at some point i see something that makes me think of something which makes me think of something else and then my mind has completely wandered and at that point i’m so distracted i don’t even think about what i meant to do.

i’m a crier.  i know this, everyone knows, and that’s just how it is.  today i started thinking about the two times i left home and how hard i tried to not cry.  i cried the most both times when i went to their house.  the first time i had to say goodbye to a small newborn bundle of sweetness who i barely knew.  the second time i had to tell a brother-in-law that i was staying in Germany an extra five months.

now they’re leaving.  not that it changes anything for me right now, but it will.  i’ll go home and want to run across through our neighbor’s lawn to go to their apartment, but won’t be able to.  now they’ll have a new home, a new set of friends, a new church, a new life.  and it’s exciting.

but it’s still hard for me.  and that’s okay. 

i always did want to visit california.

i like pictures.  people see my camera and ask if i’m into photography.  i guess so, but probably not with the same intensity that most photographers possess.  i like pretty things and i like to remember them.  i like people and i want to remember moments with them.  that is why i like pictures.  they help capture all of my favorite times and favorite people.  my family knew my love for pictures so i have the most wonderful camera ever to help me bring my German world to you.

some of this may be a bit too informative for some of you, but bear with me.  i’m just reminded of a simple question a younger sister asked a few weeks ago.  and that is, what do i do all day?  what is life like for me here at bodenseehof?  i’m just glad you’re not here today where i slept all morning inbetween throwing up, spent my afternoon laying on a blanket in our orchard, and am now down here where i’m supposed to be typing what i’m going to share tomorrow morning in our devotions but am doing this instead.  this is not normal.  here’s a bit of what is normal:

once a week we have “change over”.  after one group leaves we spend a few hours and we clean the entire building for the next group.  this was taken right after that.

every week a group of Konfi’s come for a few days.  on our last night with them (usually saturday night) “The Nehemiah Project” puts on a concert of sorts for the group.  we set up a stage and figure out a set list and have fun lights and hope that the kids will be into it. 

this is called our “ghetto mic” because it’s been taped together.  yeah, we’re just that classy around here.

sorry ’bout the red eye.  it’s those killer pupils, ya know?

every night that there are Konfi’s here we work in the Honeycomb where the milkshake demand is overwhelming.  our poor little machine that looks like it’s from the 70’s is completely overworked but somehow still does a decent job.  we are in the midst of a building project where they are making a completely new Honeycomb.  my team has another job: we must come up with a new name for this new Honeycomb.  i’m very excited because what kind of name is the “Honeycomb”?  but anyways.  i’m not great at this naming thing.  any ideas?

evelyn works the counter.

and while they work hard i do whatever.  this night meant taking pictures with girls from “English Camp”.

i guess the girl on the right didn’t get the “wear a pink t-shirt” memo.

there are “Biergartens” everywhere in Germany.  we have our own here in the small village of Fischbach and we walk down to the harbor whenever we’re extremely bored and i buy myself a coke from a glass bottle.  it’s rather fun because whenever i drink coke from a glass bottle i feel like i’m in the 50’s.  but when you do things like this enough and you’re around the same twenty people everyday everyone starts to notice each other’s quirks.  like, the way i talk with my hands.  and the fact that i like to talk and i can talk a lot at times.  after an evening spent down there i realized someone had decided to capture this using my camera.  isn’t that just wrong? 

before i came here those who had been to Germany before told me that it was one of the most beautiful places they’ve ever been.  now that i’m here by the Bodensee Germans are telling me that i’m in the most beautiful area of Germany.  so i pretty much got the best of the best.  summer is a wonderful time to be here.  after change over this past monday i took a two hour walk with my camera.

the apple orchards are growing

what is this?  wheat?  well, whatever it is, it’s also growing and i had much fun taking pictures of it.

German country roads are the cutest.

well, corn stalks aren’t so very unique, but the green, white, and blue look nice together, don’t they?

a horses field.

convict music… ghetto, ghetto, ghetto…

with the alps in the background.

amazingly beautiful.

like i’ve already said, last night we climbed a tower to see the lake and the sunset.  it was quite nice.  i had to try twice to get a video clip of our evening.  first and second.  sorry about all the noise.  the wind was very strong on top of this very tall tower that i got dizzy climbing up.

the lake and towns below us.

day is done, gone the sun, but we need not fear…

country goodness.

and of course we took pictures of us!

yes, i like these people.  but don’t worry, you’re still the bestest in my book.  you wanna know what i always think of when i see the moon?  i think:

i love you to the moon and back.

i’m still here.  sorry there isn’t much being written.

life continues.

i slept until noon today.  i guess my alarm doesn’t really work anymore.

i’ve watched the sun go down the past two nights.  the first was sitting in a canoe in the middle of the lake.  everything was pink and orange and blue and grey and everything wonderful and i wished i had my camera.  then my canoe was tipped and i was very glad i didn’t have my camera.  tonight we packed ten people into the van.  we listened to country music and heard songs we’ve never heard before.  we climbed a tower at the top of a hill where we could see the entirety of the lake.  it was so lovely.

i only have a few more Konfi groups coming and then my schedule changes.  i think i’ll miss it.

we went and saw pirates 3 the other night.  the lives we lead here are very… small.  needless to say the excitement of being in a theater was too much for us to handle.  american music played before the movie, the seats were red like they should be in any respectable establishment, and the screen was wonderfully big.  i ate peanut m&m’s and felt like i was home and it was so wonderful.

i saw a modern church today.  well, you know.  a church building that wasn’t built in the 16th century.  it made me think of home again.  i like things that remind me of america.  like all these crazy americans that are in the office right now.

i wish you could know everyone here.  i wish you could see the lake and everything that is home to me right now.  i just wish that you could be part of my world here.  you wanna visit?

i had mail in my mailbox three times this past week (which is really quite astounding).  the first was from a friend in her own little German town in the dear States (have i mentioned that i’m near the first Ulm?).  the second came in a red envelope and had a picture of a grumpy red-headed girl on it.  there was a letter, a real letter in my mumsie’s wonderful handwriting just for me.  and then the day that i was pitting cherries came another card.  this one had a picture of anne and diana, the kindred spirits, and it was sent from my bosom buddy from bodenseehof.  someday i’ll go to calgary and visit my darling janel.

the package i had hoped would be home in time for father’s day is offically amazingly late.  no, i haven’t even sent it yet.  hopefully this afternoon i’ll make it to the post office.

i know, another entry.  but this one has pictures and they’re so much fun, aren’t they? 

in our small little orchard here at Bodenseehof we have cherry trees and apple trees.  the cherry trees have become the center of our lives recently and really, our source of entertainment.  you can’t really blame us, can you?  after all, they’re so beautiful!

after spending many days of climbing trees and picking them

or in my case, having people climb trees and give me cherries,

we decided to make something of our fruit!

yesterday morning we sat on our steps and pitted bucket after bucket of cherries.

want some cherries?

after that step was finished we went over to their house

and started to make pie after pie.  first, we mixed the fruit all up.

she started to talk on the phone and kept us entertained with the one sided conversation we overheard.

i ran out of counter space as i was rowling out the crust, so evelyn happily stood by the cherry bowl holding my extra crust (and trying a few of the cherries).

i tried my hardest to make the pies look pretty, although it was nothing like what my mumsie does with a pie.

we had a limited number of pie plates and too many pies to make, so we tried to cool a pie off quickly so we could remove it by using a fan and my blowing on it.

after they were done baking we decided to go on a picnic.  i like walking through Fischbach looking like this.

and everyone else walking.

and our lovely picnic.

and afterwards we watched a movie and ate more pie.  and that was my day off.

his name was willi.  i was in one paddle boat and he was in another.  both boats started to race back to shore, girls screaming, and boys splashing.   suddenly this boy said to me, “i’m gonna beat you!”  i quickly looked at him, knowing most Konfi’s don’t say things like that.  i decided to show off my english skills (which are quickly declining the longer i’m here) and said to him, “how do you know so good english?” 

willi is originally from california.  he has lived in Germany for the last two years since his father has been stationed here.  he’s an awkward thirteen-year-old;  the kind that doesn’t fit in and the kind that talks so quickly he ends up tripping over every other word.  a few nights later he stood on one side of the honeycomb counter and i stood on the other.  he told my all about his life, all about his parents, and his lack of interest in church.

i’m here in Germany and although i work with kids every week, sometimes the lack of depth in conversation can be frustrating.  i start to wonder how much influence i can have while playing uno and asking them the questions they’ve learned in school (what are your hobbies?  how many brothers and sisters do you have?  do you play sports?  etc.).  but here i was having a real conversation with someone.

i told him about Jesus and having a personal relationship with Him.  he told me he wanted to act better towards his parents and younger brothers and i explained my struggle with trying to be a better person and never being satisfied with myself.  i told him about our need for Jesus.

i don’t know if things changed with willi, but i know that i was able to tell him all that.  and it felt so good.  i walked away thinking that if that’s the only real conversation i have all summer, my time here was not a waste.

we finished the busiest week of our summer here at Bodenseehof.  all the staff went out to dinner and they told us about walter.  everyone knew walter by the end of our English Camp.  he was outgoing, made fun where ever he went, and everyone loved him.  sunday morning, at the end of our camp, there was a decision meeting.  walter went, found Jesus, and found himself running around the room with his hands in the air.  everyone noticed his joy, his smile, the life that was in him afterwards.

yes, this is why i’m here.  i’m humbled that i can be part of this ministry – that God would use me in a setting where He’s changing lives and hearts.  and it is so exciting.

my mailbox held a letter from my sweetest most darling youngest sister today.  i took it out to the orchard, sat at the picnic table and read it.  it made my heart feel good. 

tonight someone asked me about my family.  being asked that always makes me smile and speak with pride as i mention recitals, missions trips, babies, and plane tickets for places across the country.  i can’t help but love people more when they ask about my family.

i love my family.  sometimes being away is so awfully hard.

- someone just walked through the door with a motorcycle helmet on their head.  unfortunately the door was locked so they had to unlock it which caused me to hear them coming and made me turn around to see who it was.  i just looked at him and said, “sorry, was that supposed to scare me?”  he just sighed.  sometimes i’m such a disappointment.

- yesterday i found myself in a paddle boat with three other scrawny thirteen-year-olds.  i wore my docs and a rainjacket since it was sprinkling now and then and everything was in a fog (who goes out on a lake in those conditions anyway?).  half-way through our half-hour out on the lake i decided to never go with little girls again since you end up being the only one who actually paddles while little boys chase your boat and the little girls scream at you, “schneller!” so they don’t get soaked by said boys.  not to mention, i get sick on paddle boats.

- yesterday i went to Monkey Mountain.  i don’t know why each Konfi group goes there — it really isn’t that interesting.  you pay €6,50 to walk through a path with a handful of popcorn and feed these apes who aren’t all that nice looking and their hands sure do feel weird.  all they do is sit and feed on popcorn and even though butterless and saltless popcorn isn’t supposed to put weight on, these are the fattest monkeys i have ever seen.  it’s gross.

- tonight we played games and most of them were outdoors.  they’re the kind of games that when i was younger i would have hated — those relay games where everyone can see how awful you are at whatever it is you’re doing and it’s you’re totally embarrassed.  yeah, but now i’m just in charge of them.  i get to explain the game and then watch as no one can do it.  it’s much more fun this way.

- so pretty much, after typing all this i’ve realized that i work at a camp.  i hate camp.  i never went and never wanted to go and now i work somewhere that’s so close to a camp it’s sickening.  what’s even worse is that i enjoy it.  i love what i do here.  my, how things do change.

- today i walked down to the lake with a book in hand.  i passed a daddy and his little girl and the daddy was trying to teach his little girl how to ride a unicycle.  she looked the way i do when i try to ride a bicycle (do i need to remind you that a unicycle only has one wheel while a bicycle two?).  yeah, i’m a loser.

- i’m learning it’s okay to tell Jesus when i’m feeling a bit undone.  why have i always thought that i must have everything together?