louissa sinclair

i’ve told you how much i love my K-Group before (look for #7), but now i just love them even more.  tonight our K-5 boys surprised us girls with a dinner.  they were dressed up, had flowers, and came into the school’s dinner right before it started to escort us ladies out.  it was a lovely surprise.

anyways. i think valentines day is wonderful, even if i’m so far from the people i love most.

p.s.  i know some of you may be worried that i’m losing my coolness while being away, but don’t worry, i’m still amazing and everything you want to be.  i’ll always blow you away with my coolness.

last night i called home.  after talking to a daddy, a sister, and saying hello to a little boy, i said a rushed goodbye since that annoying lady intruded to let me know that i only had one minute left.  i came back to a school and to a bedroom that was empty.  i picked up my newest friend, oliver the bear, and cried.

i sometimes feel very lonely.  i sometimes wonder why i didn’t pick a Bible school in the states.  i wondered last night why i felt such peace in a place thousands of miles away from home.  i asked God why Germany, why this Bible school?  i wondered if i would feel this peace in a different school — one maybe a little closer to home.  i asked why my other sisters moved only nine hours away from home and i had moved eleven hours of airtime away from home.  why had i decided to come to Germany anyway?

i found myself asking God if He was enough for me to get by for the next seven months.  i asked if He really would satsify all my needs.  i asked if He really had directed me here.  but if there’s one thing i’m learning while being here it’s that my faith is not determined by my feelings and emotions.  sometimes i have to choose to believe what His Word says.

i don’t want you to think that i’m always feeling like this and asking these questions.  last night was just hard.  you know that i love being here — i know you do since some told me over break that they stopped reading this because i sounded too happy and content here at bodenseehof.  last night i just missed home… terribly.

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after logging into the newest online obsession (not my obsession but the worlds) i stumbled across a list and the title was “You know you’ve studied abroad in Germany when…”  i had to post a few since i could relate.

1. You have sorted your garbage into at least 3 garbage cans and you know the difference (or should know the difference) between “Gelbe Sacke” and “Restmull”

i thought we did pretty well when it came to recycling and garbage in the north country until i came here.  in my bedroom i have two garbage cans and at the end of each dorm hall there are three different garbages.  i’ve learned that having only two and three is simple since some people have even more.  it’s amazing.  but i don’t know what Gelbe Sacke is or Restmull.  guess i’ve got some work to do.

4. You get excited that CNN is in English.

when out in the German world anything English catches my attention.  i got so excited when i saw an American army truck one time.

8. You’ve ever been stressed out at the grocery store while checking out, and have noted that you will never take “baggers” for granted ever again.

they don’t have “baggers” and the lady checking you out never helps you.  once you’ve given her the money she starts checking out the next persons items and suddenly that persons stuff is getting confused with the items you haven’t bagged yet and everyone gets annoyed with you and it’s so embarrassing and they always know that you’re American and somehow that makes it worse.

10. You’ve watched the Simpsons in German and hated it.

okay, i’ve never watched the Simpsons in the US so why would i in Germany?  but while on outreach once i watched The Gilmore Girls at my host home and although it’s not even a show i watch at home i was completely annoyed the whole time.  i couldn’t even finish the show — i had to walk out.  try watching something you’re somewhat familiar with (or something you know very well) and not be able to understand anything and have all the voices be wrong.  fer-ust-er-ating!

18.You know the difference between Milka and Ritter Sport.

both are chocolate bars that we devour here at school.  Ritter Sport is my favorite and i think it’s so much better (although others would debate that).  got that, family?  Ritter Sport is the best.

20. You’ve ever been totally confused on how to open any and all windows/doors/locks.

just come here and you’ll understand why they’re so frustrating.

my mailbox had a letter and a card in it from sisters.  my inbox had a long email from another sister.  in the letter there was a picture of me and the princess of the family.  it was lovely and it made my day.

when i read an email on saturday that said my luggage had been found, my first thought was, “i didn’t lose my hats!”  out of all the things in my luggage that i had lost, i thought of my two pink hats and was excited. 

i’m so strange.

recently everyone has been asking what i’ll be doing in september.  i hate being asked that because there is nothing that makes you feel like a bigger loser than having to say, “to be honest, i really don’t know.”  most expect me to go to school and i say that i might — just not this fall since i’ll get home after school start. 

recently someone asked me what i like to do.  and i didn’t know.

she then asked me what my dreams were, even if unrealistic.  and i didn’t know.

i find myself in a very odd place in life –  i don’t want anything.  and that just feels weird to me.  i’ve always wanted something.  i feel like apathy has replaced all the plans, dreams, and desires that i gave up and i’m not sure i like that.

today i woke up and wanted something.  my simple want is as follows:

someday i’ll own every Patricia MacLachlan book.  i’ll read through them once every year until i’ve memorized every word.  and someday i’ll have a red-headed little girl of my own and she’ll spend rainy fall afternoons curled up reading them as well.

i no longer reside in room 136 on the third floor. 

i now live in room 125 on the second floor.

i no longer have to walk up as many stairs to get to my room.

i still have the top bed of a bunk bed and still have a habit of kicking off all my covers at night.

i don’t room with nadine, ashley, and janel anymore.

i now room with pascal, alison, and hanna. 

pascal is from israel.  she knows arabic, hebrew, and english.  it’s interesting to hear from her, to hear about life in israel, and to learn how her family spent last summer in jerusalem because of the war and they are planning on doing the same when she gets home from school this year.  her father is a baker and she loves bread and chocolate and laughing and talking and having a wonderful good time.

alison is an american who spent most of her life in italy.  actually, she knows the haller’s since her home in america is in pennsylvania.  alison knows italian, english, and knows french, although she’d tell you that she’s extremely rusty.  she loves italy.  alison plans on going to school in the states for music, art, fashion, or ministry and then will go back to italy.  if one needs a haircut and doesn’t want to go and pay, alison is called.

hanna is our german roommate.  she’ll be going to school this fall for biology.  this week the germans are trying hard to only speak english and so i’m constantly teaching hanna new english words.  we eat chocolate together, borrow everything, and have quickly found out all the quirks about each other.  she doesn’t use nail clippers.  one hand she trims her nails with scissors and the other hand she only uses a file.

there’s a little bit about my new room.