louissa sinclair

ah. so i’m here. finally here. thinking about blogging — something i haven’t done in what? four days? i know, it’s been awhile for me.

as we drove home from last minute shopping, we listened to the cd i had just purchased. a 2 track bo bice cd. yes, i’m in heaven.

danica is married. it was a lovely wedding. a pretty wedding. yes, i loved it.

saturday morning i was greeted by gabriel. “it’s weasa! i love you weasa!” last night i was on the floor watching the yankee/mets game. he came and laid down with me and i wished that i could spend more time with him.

she looked so pretty on saturday. well, for that matter so did i. (i had to put that in for everyone who already thinks i’m vain. i have to keep it up!)

i volunteered the information to someone this weekend that that i am “the most spoiled seventeen year old you’ll ever meet.” now why would you say that to someone you just met?

i believe i’m going to go to nepal. i’m not going to worry about money and piano. i just have to keep in mind what she (the girl on the left) reminded me of. God will provide.

i absolutely adore the tallo’s. maybe it’s because they adore me. it’s always easier to adore someone when they adore you back, right?

alright. i’ll be gone. for three weeks. i know, you’ll miss me. but i’ll miss you.

to the real madrid i’m going!

here are a few more. i’m waiting for some pictures that bean took and will eventually put those up. i’m tired. i’ll write more about my weekend later.

okay, so here are three. more will come.

i’m feeling melancholy. so very melancholy. oh, i’m excited. excited for danica and ryan. but i’m rather melancholy. why does she have to go? my sibling’s are my friends. my closest friends. and i hate when they leave me.

i realized the other day that i’m the oldest one home now. perhaps it’s because danica spoils me or maybe because i’m a clingy person, but the idea that i’m the oldest was just horrid. i’m used to always having someone older to go to. i can’t even buy food for my recital without her at my side helping me (now you know why i don’t have a college picked out yet).

it’s going to be so lonely without her in the house. i’m going to be so lonely.

ryan’s father and stepmom came over for dinner tonight. they brought a little bit of maine to us — 10 live lobsters. yes, it was delightful. actually, it was the first time i’ve ever had lobster. oh, i’ve had few opportunities to order lobster, but always chose something else. it was just so much fun. merrick had a few crawling around the kitchen floor right before ryan cooked them. yeah, it was fun.

i do believe that we might be ready for the wedding. how amazing.

i’m excited about all the people we’ll see this weekend. i wish it wouldn’t go by so quickly.

no matter what i do, all i think about is you…

i tried on my dress tonight. it’s pretty. just one more thing to remind me that it’s coming up quickly.

my sister will be married in four days. married. happy? yes. it’s exciting. and sad. i don’t know.

a week from now i’ll be flying out to spain. have i told you that i’m going? well, i’m going to spain. for two weeks — or is it three? i’m really not sure which it is. i’ll pack and leave. am i excited about it? i guess. i haven’t really thought much about it.

am i going to nepal in august? well, i don’t know. right now it’s alot about the money.

i called my sister today. the one with two little ones and a third on the way. i had a question and we talked about what to wear for the rehearsal dinner this friday. it sounded like gabriel was pounding on his drum and our baby bronwyn started crying half-way into our conversation. i hate the nine hours separating us. i just wanted to help.

she’ll be here tomorrow night. and my other sister from PA is coming tonight. yes, that’ll be great fun. my nephew and niece will be here. you will most certainly have pictures.

all my comments work.

= )

i don’t think i’ve ever been more nervous right before a recital.

the funny thing is — i’m not even playing in this one. but all my kids are.

and right now i can think of a million things i should have done to make sure everyone was comfortable and was actually going to get there and be prepared. i’m learning. next year i’ll do things differently. for now, this will have to do.

1. i can’t sleep. but i’m tired. i lay in bed and all my past sins come to haunt me. i feel the guilt and shame all over again, but i don’t do anything. finally, i do what i know i should’ve done the minute this all started. i grab my bible, journal (my real one you silly goose), and pen and head for the family room, where i can have a little chat with Jesus.

2. i’m seventeen. i still have a piggy bank and i put my change into religiously. not only do i still have one, but i bring it up in conversations. and not only do i bring it up in conversations, but i think that all this is quite normal until my older sister starts laughing (very hard) at me and my piggy bank — which actually isn’t technically a “piggy” bank at all. it’s more like my “elephant” bank.

3. i’m a very insecure person. but this shouldn’t be shocking. isn’t everyone, in their own way, a bit insecure?

4. i say i hate everything emo, but in fact that would be a lie. there is a bit of room in my heart for emo music… i’m missing your laugh, how did it break? and when did your eyes begin to look fake? i hope your as happy as your pretending…

5. i do believe i struggle with jealousy. no! not the talented louissa sinclair! yup, me. but if you just go back to “confession #3″, i think you’ll see the root of this problem. this whole “jealousy” thing is just a recent revelation of mine. so i figured i’d tell you — give you something else that to make fun of, right? : )

6. this is my third post today (well, actually, it’s friday right now, so technically i posted twice yesterday and this is my first post today. but that’s going a bit overboard, don’t you think?). good Lord, louissa! can you please just do us all a favor and get a life? just remember, i didn’t ask you to read this — you’re doing that on your own free will.

7. one more. the whole mirror thing… it really isn’t that big of a deal. i just felt cool for five minutes after recieving the e-mail telling me my picture had been accepted (as well as thousands of others). and no link to a picture of myself this time. something must be wrong with me.

Congratulations! Your photograph has been added to The Mirror Project.

Keep taking pictures, baby!

http://www.mirrorproject.com/mirror?id=29694

Heather